I was really looking forward to being a part of such a huge show like Law and Order:Criminal Intent, even if I just appear in it for a few seconds. I was looking forward to it for the experience, for the prospective contacts and for shallow reasons, like meeting Mr.Big.
What I actually got out of it is no contacts, exhaustion and bitter-sweet aftertaste.
The beginning was great! I got picked to walk into the couple of scenes. In one, I was just in front of a principle actor...I was jumping up and down within, like a little girl. And I kept staring at Mr.Big, like one as well. Hey, I'm a big Sex and the City fan. And Mr.Big made that show what it is.
After about eight hours into the shoot, I got so tired and nervous about not really having a good chance to actually meet Chris Noth. Yes, he passed me several times but I was too much of a prude to get up and stop him or something. Also, I didn't wanna be thrown out of the shoot. That would be so embarrassing. So I did nothing. Unfortunately.
I could've given my postcard to other actors or assistants as well, but I kept waiting and waiting until it was too late. It was my fear that was keeping me down.
By the time we were leaving the set, after a 12 hour day, I was too dead to do anything.
So, yes, I saw them. And yes, I'll be in the same scene with them. And I can put it on my resume. But I didn't do what I really wanted--try to open the door for getting a bigger part.
I feel so little today. Even though I didn't really lose anything. Except a possibility of a great opportunity. I might never have another one:(
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