From Bush to Barack

As much as I was happy about my picture with the President, I'm a much bigger fan of Barack Obama.I even wanted to volunteer, but his team wanted me to go to New Hampshire and back in one day?!In a car?!And pay myself for it?!I don't think so.So I ended up not going to the training, since it was also supposed to be a weekend marathon.That was probably a mistake, I realize now. I know,spilled milk...
But, I did go to his rally in Washington Square Park last week.I was very excited about showing my support in Clinton's backyard, plus about a possibility of getting another great picture for my blog!
So I walked for a long time, got myself a horrible cappuccino to go(I didn't know it's going to be that bad)from Le Pain Quotidien, and entered the park.The volunteers directed me toward an incredibly long line. A line, in a park, for the rally? O,yes, there were thousands of people waiting to go through a metal detector, in order to see and hear Obama.
The organization was ridiculous!Only one metal detector,I suspect, since I couldn't have seen it from the back of one of the lines, for thousands of people?!Many gave up after realizing that it would take them two hours just to get to the security point. I patiently stayed in the line, even though the bad cappuccino made me really thirsty and my legs started hurting, until M.called: "I'll find you," he said. "You can't find me, I'm in the middle of a line,!"I responded frustratingly. There was no way he could've come to me. A million people behind me wouldn't let him. Also, my legs were angry at me. So I left the line.I t was disappointing not to see Obama after being in a line for more than an hour, plus walking for another half, just to get to the Park. All I really wanted at that point was to sit down. And have a drink.
The N.Y.Times reported that there were about 25,000 people at the rally.That seems right. What I don't know is if they counted another 5,000 who left before it actually really started.Pitty I was one of them.

The man himself!

I met the Man today!It was such an adrenaline rush, you know, like a shot of power.
It was not easy to get close to him, as you can imagine, and have our picture taken. Even though I'm not a big fan of his politics, his speech today and his general demeanor impressed me. He is more impressive in person, as one of our co-waiters said, than on TV.
He was smiling, laughing at other people's jokes,and joking himself before being very natural with the crowd trying to shake his hand and have a picture to brag to their grandchildren about. Hey, he was even taking audience's digital cameras and giving them to the special service, who served as photographers, as if their job is not already hard enough.
He almost missed me, in a hungry, lustful crowd. We called him several times before he turned around, shook my hand and smiled for the flash.
I really enjoyed the moment. Maybe I should go into politics.This power rush really has its kick.

U.N.traffic

New Yorkers have stolen another summer day. It was awash for the frantic U.N.traffic. It took me a half an hour of my life, plus a nausea, to get to the 90s and see my doctor. The ride was long and bumpy.
It's like the whole world came down on New York this week.A little bit of close by shopping I did this morning, to scare of my virus,was less pleasurable because of the packed stores. So U.N. people also like to shop, not only save the world?
Or maybe it's the tourist, tourist season.
I feel a tad better, but better in general since I've seen a doctor.Hopefully it is an earthly virus, not an E.T. bacteria in my throat.What ever you are, beware.I have a firm intention on killing you.
Tomorrow is the day I was looking forward to for a while.
I'm going to a reception, and I love receptions, plus I have an interview with an acting coach.It's time to shake things a little bit.I just hope I feel well.Fingers crossed. The update-tomorrow!

New York virus

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. with a sharp pain in my throat. "Not again," I thought, "I was just sick." I wasn't interested in sleeping anymore.
I called my best friend. My Mom. "You have to see a doctor," she confirmed my suspicion.
I hate going to a doctor.I spent half of my stay in Serbia in doctors' offices. It's such a waste. But here, here you need to plan your illness in order to be able to see a doctor. I called several today, and I still don't have an appointment.
Where I come from, you KNOW doctors. You're nice to them. You bring them gifts. In exchange, you don't wait in line. Or you pay, but schedule within hours. Very convenient.
So,I'm sick again, with no prospects of seeing one soon. Unless a divine intervention lets me make an appointment tomorrow. How exciting!

Moma, and too modern take 3

We payed our beloved Moma another visit yesterday.
Of course, I wanted to see my darling impressionists again, but M. wanted to see something modern. "O.k.," I said, "let's see something new."
The fifth floor is modern American art. Or at least what some people call art. Like Warhol.I'm sorry, but that's not art.
Art is, by my own definition, something extraordinary beautyful.Extrodinary.And beautiful.Warhol and friends are not either.That's kitch.I know, I know, it's called "Pop-art."Aah...nope!
I knew I should've written the names of the "fifth floor friends." For example, one of them has "painted" a whole canvas orange, and then drew one line across?! That's art? A five-year-old can do that! I can do that, and I cannot paint! It's ridiculous what people would waste their money and time on. Oops,aha,...I'm one of those people. In my defense, I did try to rush through it as fast as I could.
Oh, yes, another example of this modern art-a whole white painted canvas! That's it, that's art, my friend! Go to Moma's fifth floor and see it for yourself.'Cause frankly, I wouldn't believe it myself.

Dreaming of Serbia, happily back in New York

I'm back in New York City. It's good to be back. Really.
As much as I enjoyed spending time with my family, I missed my life here...
The trip back was the longest one so far. Not objectively. It just seemed to me that way.Maybe because I'm older this year. Significantly.
I got anxious and stiff.Certain parts of my body were numb and numbing.Even the "Ocean's Thirteen" couldn't distract me from my ailment.And the time was passing so slowly.
When we finally arrived to JFK, there was a zoo waiting. I've never seen so many U.S.citizens and permanent residents in one line before.
But the fun didn't stop there. Exhausted and about to fall asleep standing up, I had to wait for my luggage for about half and hour before it never showed up!
And, as romantic as the exit could've been, with M.waiting with the smile and flowers, I had to think about the paper work I still needed to do, before I can finally, finally go home.
I did get an overnight kit. A XL white T-shirt to sleep in. No night cream. I didn't care.
The sight and warmth of my grown, beautiful, purry kitty an hour later made me deliriously happy. I drifted into dreams within a half an hour and--dreamt about Serbia all night long...

I saw an old, good friend today. We had a couple of drinks and caught up with our lives. But we are different people a since the last time we saw each other. Our worlds are different, our lives are different. We still managed to share couple of moments on this earth together again.
It's funny how you can be away from someone for years, and you can still talk, really talk to each other as if nothing has changed. There are these vibes we share with certain people, and not the others. And no matter how much you change, or how much you drift apart, you can still always talk, for hours. And you can always find something to talk about.
I'm one of those people who gets bored easily.But I mean easily. "Dosadno je(It's boring)"is the most common frase I use. It makes me feel lucky to know a handful of people who I can never find boring, and a bit sad not to be able to share more of my life with them. They are precious, even though they live in another world. And one needs a special kind of key to enter it.
Well, we unlocked it today again, after a while, and it's up to both of us if we'll ever use the same key again.Or will we just let the weight of our every day people and life bury what we rediscovered today.
At the end, it's all up to us and how much we value our friendship.

High school interview

I was interviewed today. Again.I say again, because when my books came out, I was an interviewee many times.I actually like it.I like talking about myself, as long as I have something significant to say.
My interviewer was a senior in my former high school. The school paper is interested in me since, according to them, "I made it."
Made it how? I think, a definition of success in my big, but Southern city, is to leave it. And not starve to death. In that case, yes, I made it.
Also,I think getting a Masters in the States is a big deal for them. I get that. It's big deal for me too.
Marta, a wanna-be-journalist, is a cute 18 year-old woman. I actually wrote a girl first, since she's definitely one, but I don't want to be politically incorrect. She seemed kind and interested in what I have to say.I was afraid that I'll bore her from time to time. She's volunteering anyway.
I tried to be brief but answer all the questions. She really didn't have many. I guess I said it all.
At a point I was struggling with what else to say. I know I did a lot in my 31 years of age, but somehow, not everything came in mind then.
Of course, I thought of things I could've and should've said, but only when we got up, since an hour or so had passed, our bottoms were sore from sitting on a wooden bench in the high school club and I had an appointment with my dentist in an hour.
I did promise to send a photo. They couldn't find a camera.It's better this way anyway, I get to choose my picture that will accompany the article.
It was fun, really, and flattering. I mean,I was Marta just 12 years ago. Twelve years ago?! Oh ,God, I'm so old. You are old when you get to say that you did something 10 or more years ago...Kidding, of course. Don't stop reading me just because I wrote this:-)

Villages and other worlds

My parents insisted on going to this small village just outside the city, and taking advantage of a beautiful day. You can't take those for granted. I'm all for that, but I wouldn't quite waste it on a visit to a village. Unless it's in Italy. Or France.
My mother doesn't take NO for an answer. So, out we go. The plan was to visit a monastery and then have lunch. This village is famous for good food.Good food in Serbia means good meat. And a lot of it. For me it means good kajmak,home-made bread and sopska salad.Yummy!
The monastery turned out to be probably the smallest one in history. One small church, and closed too. The priests were having lunch in a fixer-upper, up the hill. They pointed us to, what it seemed to be, an old brick construction, which has a small door on the side of the road. It is an old, old church. It's quite charming.Tiny, but very peacful and genuine. Old icons stairing back at us.
We lit the candles, for the living and the dead, and went on our way.
I haven't changed that much since I was a kid, in certain ways.I never liked villages, nor suburbs. I still don't.I find them boring.I can go, but I really need to be motivated,and not stay there for more than three hours. That's my wall. I hit it, regularly. Unless, again, they are in Spain.

We had a tiny party to kind of celebrate my Masters degree.It's a big deal for my family.I believe to be the first one in a large tribe to get such a prestigious education. No one seems to even note that I got it in my non-native language,and in my non-native but resident country.But that's o.k. I do dream in English anyway.
Serbian way of showing up to parties is usually with an hour of a buffer.The other thing is that a lot of people had "words" with other people,so some of them preferred to come tomorrow. Some of the invitees had other obligations and self invited themselves for tomorrow.So, a couple-of-hours party turned out into a two day thing. How Serbian!
I did enjoy catching up with my high school professors.It's a totally different relationship now, between us, and it's true what people say-you only remember the good things.At least about my high school days.But it also made me feel a little bit uncomfortable, going back to my past so deep and so far.I live in a different world than they do.I partly chose it that way, it partly happened by itself.While one of my professors was telling me what others do, it seemed to me that they are still friends.I, on the other hand, have lost touch with, literally, all of them.It made me wonder:"Am I so different? Is it all me? "
Two of them even got married a year or so ago!They spent four years as friends,survived long term relationship and broken marriage with other people,and felt in love with each other during a reunion?!Isn't that an amazing story!The strangest things happen to people.You just can't tell.
I can't even imagine what the party, part two, will reveal about my former mates.

Sleepless in Nis

I can't fall asleep. Again. I'm suffering from an eight day old jet leg. Or I just have so many things on my mind.Probably the latter.
This so-called vacation turned out to be much more and less than planned.
I got sick. I certainly didn't plan that. The weather is getting better but it's definitely not summer anymore in Serbia.
And being here without M. after so many years makes me feel weird and a bit out of place. I know, it's silly, since this is where I lived for 26 years, until I moved to the capital. But so many changes happened since then.I haven't been in Nis without M. since 2002.
Things are different when I'm here alone.I'm not used to that anymore.I don't know how to handle it.I feel artificially single.I can't explain it.But it is a small burden.Friends have changed, moved on, so have I, but with M. And now I'm reviving these old friendships just because he's not here. Otherwise, we have our own enjoyable routine, in this habitat. Now I'm all by myself in this city of my childhood and growing up. Admit it, it's a little bit scary.

Sunshine on the side, please...

Another depressive, rainy, cold Serbian day!I literally cannot believe my bad luck.All of those things I was longing for about this city are hard or almost unachievable with such bad weather.You know, hanging out in outdoor cafes and strolling along the walking street...
I was so unhappy today.I miss M. too much, plus the muddy,gray day doesn't exactly help. After I soaked the only fall pants I brought by accident, I decided to cancel other engagements and drown in my desperation. I was watching TV and napping.Hardly worth an almost 24 hour trip.
I'm not being fair, actually.I do enjoy spending more time with my family because of the weather. I just wish I'm in a better mood doing so, or at least with a little sunshine on the side.

Hooked

Another sunny day in Serbia.Not warm enough for me, but cozy.The cafes have opened, people have gone out,everything's back to life. But not for long, according to the forecast.Serbia in the fall is not the best place to be. Summer is!
I find myself much more creative in New York City.I wonder if I'm in "I'm on a vacation, I should be resting" mode, or just a writer's block.I usually know what to write about when I face the screen.
I met an old friend today. We had coffee, chatted, caught up...It was fun!I went shopping.Fun again! More shopping...
Spent a lot of time with my family.Talked to more friends, scheduled more coffees.I realized, in a course of this year, I became a coffee drinker!I've never been one before.I would occasionally had a Moka something, but more for the chocolate that for the coffee taste.But now, I need it to wake me up in the morning,I crave it in the afternoon...Am I hooked?I don't wanna be.I've always looked at people hooked on coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, whatever, as weak,and in a way, I pity them.Did I become one? No, of course not.I don't have to have coffee.I just want it.
I can live without it.It's not like with M. Now, there, there I'm really hooked...

High school memory

It was a beautiful day in South-East Serbia. Sunny, warm, fresh...
All of a sudden, everything looked brighter.
I took a stroll with my mother, I saw some relatives, I met a high school professor on a street-one of the things I love about being back in my home town.Last I've seen her was during my book promotion in October 2002.
She hasn't aged a bit!Have you ever met one of those people who don't grow older?At least they don't look like they do.She's also advanced professionally-she's the head of the school now.A very impressive woman.
She invited me over to the school and I gladly accepted.You see, they know me there, they all remember me.That really feels great!
I love the fact that I'm hard to forget.

Greetings from Serbia!

Welcome back!S
Sorry I was away.I had a long,exhausting trip to Serbia,which enhanced the notorious jet-leg.
This trip, so far, has not been what I hoped for.
For one, my mom was sick. She's better now, thank God. Now my sister is sick.Nothing serious, hopefully, but it's gets the G, out of good mood.
And three, the weather, for the lack of a better word, sucks!
It is cold, and cloudy, rainy, really depressing. So far, two days, and no long strolls on the walking street or hanging out in outdoor cafes with friends-the gems of any good Serbian holiday, or visit home.
I did have a fun dinner with my extended family.It was great to see them all together, again!
Also, not much is open on Sunday here.People here take the day of rest seriously.I'll see an old friend tomorrow and that's probably it.
I have too much energy, even when I'm jet-legged.Hanging out at home almost all day long is not my thing. Makes me feel nervous and depressed.Or is it something else?
Hopefully, the weather should improve Monday.Let the vacationing begin!

Leaving New York

It's almost that time!I'm almost there, on my long desired vacation home!My sister is coming over tonight and we are flying off tomorrow!Very exciting!
But, at the same time, sad:( Why? M.can't come with me this time.And this will be the longest we've ever been apart in five years!So, the packing is a bit bitter-sweet.
My Mom thinks it's good for our relationship!But my Mom would say anything to get me to come home. She even encouraged me once to undergo an unnecessary, painful procedure just to get me home. Now, that's love--Serbian way;-)
She even wants us to have children now, so she can take care of them, and consequently spend more time with us.
As much as I know I will enjoy my time home, with my family and friends, I will at the same time, miss M.terribly. So, why do I do these things to myself?
I really need to go home.His job is the only reason he's not joining me.And when I come back,I will start a new career, which will probably not include any vacation time for a while. So, it's perfect timing for this trip.
Even though I believe I can have it all, often, I cannot manage to do so.

Moma-take 2

We went to Moma again, yesterday.We figured, it's a holiday, most New Yorkers will be out of town, which leaves only tournons,plus $20 for a ticket...we should be fine.
When we got there, the line was non-existent outside, but inside, well, it's another story. So,M.decides to ask about the membership.It turns out to be reasonable, considering all the benefits-unlimited visits, no lines, guests get in cheap, discounts on goods...Have I mentioned no lines? And another practical thing about it-it's tax deductible. So we became the proud members of Moma!
I was a bit sceptical at first.You see, I like Impressionists, not Modernists.I like my art to have emotions captured in it, but with no nihilism, or depression-I don't need to go to the museum to see that! So, for example, I knew I loved Van Gogh and Monet.I've been to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam six years ago and I felt in love. I don't remember exactly where Monet got me, but it might have been Louvre.
So, after we walk through this garden with so-called "sculptures,"I have to admit, I was worried.Big pieces of rusted metal, placed side by side are not exactly art for me. So, we look at the guide to find paintings.Older paintings, XIX and early XX century.
We get up on the fifth floor and there it was-this huge Monet!A pond with waterlilies!Suddenly a big smile inhabits my face. I love his romanticism and his use of colors!He just makes me feel good!
Then I discovered more about myself!I knew I didn't like Picasso-he's too weird for my taste-but I didn't know I'm going to enjoy his contemporary-Matisse!They have the whole room filled with Matisse. He tells you a story, which I also like!
And then, Kandinsky!That was a surprise too!I loved his use of colors, and how the shapes blend into each other!
I'm not an art critic, nor a big connoisseur,as you can easily deduct, I'm sure, but I know what I like and I can recognize the artist-Toulouse-Lautrec, Goghen, Cezanne...
It's the knowledge I've acquired from museums all over the world, and the one I'm quite proud of.And now, I would like to read a book about art and artists.At least about the ones I like and dislike.I would like to understand what I'm looking at.
Even though we left Moma after the fifth floor, I 'm looking forward to returning to the museum, and learning more about the paintings I love.You know, through one of those audio guides.I'm not a big fan usually, because,I think, it distracts me from enjoying the art, but now,I would like to get inside their heads.
Joining the museum turned out to be a great decision for people like me-with low attention span!I can take years to explore it.Yay!

Craig's paranoia

I posted an add on Craig's list yesterday. We only used our car twice last month, and we pay for the monthly parking, plus, the insurance in N.Y.C. is much, much, much higher than in D.C.
So we posted an add.Reasonable price, good description, a picture...you know, a detailed add.With only a cell phone and an e-mail address, of course. Of course, I'm not dumb.And I don't trust people until I do.
So we got several e-mails. They all want to have it shipped someplace, they all have bad English, they all ask if they can send a check, or they want me to advertise on their Web site b/c, of course, of the scams?!
Isn't anyone honest wanting to buy a car in N.Y.C?!
So, despite all the money we're waisting on this car, I do not feel comfortable giving my address(all of them wanted that), and certainly not meeting someone in person without another party present.And a test drive?"We'll just tell them,the car drives perfectly, there's no need for a test drive!" I actually, really, said that last night. M.laughted...off;-)
I don't know if we want to sell the car after all. It's not worth that much.Maybe we're better off just taking it to a dealer somewhere here.
And as much as I love living in New York, it has proven to have a bad effect on my paranoia. O, yes, I suffer from untrust. That's the way I was brought up, I guess. People always want to trick you, in one way or another...until they don't.
Also, those 1000 episodes of "Law and Order" I 've seen, haven't exactly helped with that.